Babies and children play all the time. Putting stuff together, taking them apart, dropping and throwing things, putting stuff inside other stuff, hiding, squashing, tasting, rolling... and all the time, they are learning. They are doing science, figuring out the rules of the world - the physical, social, emotional world.
So as their parents, or teachers, or carers, we need to help children get the most from their play. We need to make it interesting, satisfying, challenging, exciting, and most of all - fun!
I know, however - from my own experience, as well as when training other parents, that playing with your little one can be daunting. Personally, I grew up a tomboy. I loved to run, cycle, jump in puddles, build dens and read books. My biggest role models were people who went on big adventures, discovering, fixing and exploring. So when, for the first time in my professional capacity, I had to sit down beside a 6 year old and play with a doll's house, I realised I had absolutely no idea what to do. Just how DO you play with a doll's house?!
What I came to experience - and later, learned from my reading and training, was that it didn't matter that I didn't know. I could still make this play time fun, interesting and a great learning opportunity.
Remember, children learn much more from play than you can imagine. More than naming objects, counting and shape sorting. They are also learning:
- social skills - turn taking, sharing, cooperating, helping;
- emotional skills - how to cope when things don't go as they planned, naming their own emotions, understanding how others are feeling;
- physical skills - hand-eye coordination, motor sequencing and control, strengthening their muscles;
- attention and concentration skills - how to concentrate for longer periods of time, how to move their attention from one thing to another, how to share attention with another person;
- behaviour skills - what it is and isn't OK to do;
- imaginative, creative and problem solving skills - how to figure out solutions to problems, dreaming about the possible and impossible;
- perseverence - keeping going even when things get tough.
Here are some tips for how to play with your children well:
- Be an interested observer. Watch your child closely. Raise your eyebrows and smile - they may have repeated the same thing 15 times but you still need to show the same enthusiasm for it! Sit close to them and make appreciative sounds. Giving your child positive attention is one of their greatest pleasures, so by being attentive to them you are automatically making it more fun and rewarding. This means they will keep playing, and therefore keep learning!
- Follow your child's lead. You don't need to come up with all the ideas. In fact, the expert in play is not you - it's your child, so let them lead. They might hand you objects, or tell you what to do with them. Go with it. If they are building then help them, or build beside them. This will help you move at a pace that is good for them, and help you ensure that the activity isn't too easy or too hard for them.
- Say what you see. Don't fall into the trap of asking a thousand questions - 'what colour is that? What is that shape called? How many do you have?' Try, instead, to name what you see. 'Oh - you put the red brick on the top'. '1,2,3...4 - 4 balls!' This will teach your child vocabulary, putting them under no pressure to answer questions, or get answers wrong. This will make play time more relaxed while still giving lots of learning opportunities.
- Restrict play options. Have you ever walked into a restaurant with an enormous menu, felt totally overwhelmed with choice, and end up ordering something you didn't want? Children's attention and concentration skills take years to mature and it can be really helpful for them if you limit their choices. For the little ones who are still depending on you to get around, this might mean setting two or three toys near to them to pick from. For the older ones, it may mean putting their toys on 'rotation' and having only some out at a time for them to choose from. This make sit easier for them to make choices, makes it easier for them to stay focused on the activity for longer periods of time and so helps them get more from their play time.
- Turn off the telly. I'm not saying that you shouldn't let your child watch TV, but it is much better for them if it isn't on in the background during play time. Children get distracted easily by everything so if you have the TV on while they are playing they will frequently get distracted from their play to listen or watch. This will disrupt their sequence of play and affect their exploration and learning.
So I am going to set you a play time homework! Sit down with your child, today or tomorrow. Set a timer for one minute and in that one minute, ask NO questions. Difficult? Don't worry, keep practising!
For more tips on how to be an effective play partner, comment below or get in touch. The parent training sessions go into this in depth and will give you an opportunity to really hone your skills as a play partner, no matter what age and ability your child is.
