What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness put simply, could be described as the process of noticing things, both about yourself, and the world around you. Sounds pretty easy, right?
But most of us have experienced, at some point in our lives, difficulty doing this. Worrying thoughts creep into our head and keep us awake at night. Or, driving home from work, we suddenly find ourselves at our front door with little recollection of how we got there because our minds with crammed with our To Do list for the evening ahead.
Being mindful can be difficult. Our brains are busy, trying to keep up with our busy lives. Our heads are stuffed with things to do, things to worry about, things to feel stressed over. As a result, we lose a sense of ourselves. We lose out on opportunities to experience what is happening in the present.
Our children, young and older, are just the same. They have busy brains moving at 100 miles an hour and their hectic schedules can mean they experience few moments of calm and peacefulness.
The good news is we can train ourselves, and teach our children, to be more mindful.
Why is mindfulness important?
Mindfulness can actually change the brain, and increase the density of gray matter (this includes regions in the brain involved in lots of things such as muscle control, sensory perception, decision making, memory, self control…the list goes on!)
mindfulness is shown to affect the anterior cingulate cortex, responsible for self regulation - this includes the ability to direct attention, control impulsivity and mental flexibility
studies are finding that mindfulness can affect the hippcocampus, which plays a big role in our emotional skills, memory and resilience
studies are showing that mindful people can be more creative
some studies show that mindful people are actually considered more charismatic!
studies are showing that mindfulness can improve performance in lots of professions - such as athletes, musicians, and mechanics
Specifically for children, mindfulness has been found to:
enhance focus and attention skills
improve mental health and well being
mitigate the effects of bullying
improve stress regulation
improve social skills.
Mindfulness activities
For younger children
Spidey Senses
In the house, in the park, or at the shop - anywhere at all! Get your child to hold up three fingers and turn on their Spidey Senses. Can they see three things that are green? Put down a finger. Can they hear two different sounds? What is the quietest sound they can hear? Put down a finger. Can they feel one thing touching their body (maybe the hard chair they are sitting on on their bottom, or the soft grass under their feet)?
Whirly squirly bottle
Fill up a plastic bottle with water (and some glycerin if you want to be fancy!) and help your little on add a good couple of spoons of glitter. Make sure the cap goes on good and tight. Encourage the child to shake the bottle so the glitter swirls. Help the child think that this is like when they have lots of busy thoughts or worries - it makes it hard to think clearly. Now ask the child to set the bottle down and watch the glitter settle. Remind the child that when they are still and quiet for a little minute it can help their thoughts be more clear, just like the bottle.
Sensory I Spy
Take turns with your child to play I Spy, but instead of looking for things beginning with a certain letter, look for things that are a certain colour, smell, sound, feel…you get the idea!
With older children
Body Scan
A body scan is one of the most common exercises used to practise mindfulness. Getting comfortable and preferably lying down, have your child close their eyes (or dim the lights). Starting with their toes, slowly start tensing up their muscles as much as possible - toes, feet, ankles, legs, tummy, fists…al the up to their faces. At the end of this their whole body should be scrunched up. Get them to think about how this all feels and to hold this position for a moment. Then, starting with the face and working their way back down to their toes, they should gradually relax all their muscles until they are floppy and heavy on the floor. Get them to think about how this feels.
Square breathing
This can be a great activity for a young person who is anxious in a situation to do discreetly - for example before a test in their class. Using an index finger, get them to trace a square slowly, either on a surface or on part of their body (their other hand or leg, for example). As they trace a horizontal line, they should breathe in through their nose for a long slow count of 4, and as they trace the vertical lines they should breathe out through their lips for another long count of 4. They can do this over and over again, and if they want an check at the end of each square how their breathing and heart beat feels.
Count to ten
This is another very discreet activity that a child or young person can use anywhere any time. Starting at 1, they need to try and slowly count up to 10, without any thoughts intruding. I like to make this a game, as I find it very hard. I don’t think I’ve got past 3 myself!
There are loads of ideas online to help you get started on being more mindful yourself, as well as for your children. The ideas above have all come from a bit of research in books and online. Two nice resources I have recently come across are:
Mindfulness by Harvard Business Review (a nice simple introduction for adults)
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/mindfulness-for-children-kids-activities/ (this is a fab website, and in particular there are links to some videos and apps to support guided meditation, for example to be used before bed time)
This is a cute little video of children talking about what mindfulness is for them:
And finally, this is a cd I’m trying out at home with my three year old:
meditation and relaxation for kids by Dr Elizabeth Scott
Practising mindfulness can feel a bit strange at first. But stick at it. Have fun trying some activities out!