It happened, our kids went back to school!
How has it been for you? I imagine, like me, you are feeling a mixture of relief and anxiety. Getting back into a school routine means our kids are (hopefully) learning and we can (kind of) get back to work. But we also don’t know how safe it is, or how our kids will do after being out of school so long - and we feel like things could change at any minute.
It’s no different for our young people and children. They are also experiencing complicated and conflicting feelings. Except because they aren’t adults, it’s harder for them to process and understand. They aren’t equipped with the emotional skills to sort through, name and verbalise their feelings effectively, and instead these get all jumbled inside. The result? Strange outbursts, tearfulness, unexpected (to them unexplainable) fears about leaving the house or going to school, worrying over small things, erratic or acting out behaviour.
As parents and educators, we have a big job on our hands to deal with all of these behaviours with empathy. Remember that our children are taking a massive step out into the unknown. The ‘new’ way of school is unfamiliar, and we - genuinely - have no idea what the outcome of meeting in large crowds is. They don’t know if their lives are at risk, or if they are endangering loved ones.
What does empathy sound like in these situations? It might be…
‘It sounds to me like you are feeling (really angry right now/ a bit worried about something).’
‘This is feeling new and different. I’m here for you.’
‘I see that this feels hard for you right now.’'
If your young person knows you are there for them, and that you understand, that will really help. You might feel like it isn’t changing anything, or that you are totally helpless to make anything better. But often, taking an empathetic stance is enough.
It’s understandable right now that we will see an increase in anxious behaviour and acting out behaviour. Expect a little of this, and expect it to last for a little while. Keep an eye on things and If they don’t settle down for you in a few weeks, talk to your child’s teacher/parent. There are lots of things we can do to support our children and young people together.
If you become very worried about your child or young person, there are other people you can approach. The NSPCC has a helpline for parents (0808 800 5000) as well as children (0800 1111) and there is an online chat service available. MIND also have a chat line and help line (mind.org.uk).
And of course, I’m here too!